Happy halloween:)

Today's the day! :) Happy halloween everybody. I kind of regretted not planning. Cause my mum asked me why I wasn't celebrating this year and I'm like awwww man-.- Hahaha. Anyways , Bm was superb hard today. Science was aite. Not so bad. I wish I read more though. I have a feeling I wont get satisfied with my results. I did my best though:) CAN'T BELIEVE I SURVIVED BM. I'm still alive. Oh thank god , it's over already. English & Geo tmrw , bring it! Few more days left till I can party all night and day. Can't wait. Till then. Bye!:)

Ohana" means "family" . "Family" means no one gets left behind.

Fuckyeah. Guess who bought a stitch shirt?! Memememe. Hahaha. It was the LAST one. But it's kinda big. I still love it :) I'm so lucky:3 It's 30 bucks. Yeah so , I went to curve with leeann today. Walked around , bought some super awesome brownie. Omg , it was the best effing brownie I ever had. I swear. Go try it! It's in curve street market. 3.80 only , no regrets. Chocolate brownies <3 Uh , I also tasted the famous 'ikea meatballs' , it sucks but I like the jam & gravy. 10 bucks gone. Had leng chee kang + satay for dinner. Awesome day. Feels like it's the holidays already. But it's the last day of holiday actually-.- Bm paper 1 & 2. Science paper 2. Here I come!

The questions in my head :/

Does he?

• …think about me as much as I think about him?
• …want me?
• …hate me?
• …know how much I’ve changed because of him?
• …know how much it hurts. yet I’m here still sucking it up and not letting my tears fall?
• …even want to talk to me?
• …know I’m still waiting?
• …know he’s in my dreams?
• …know I’m always here for him?
• …know I wish I can tell him how much I missed him.

Ehehehehe.

I got my bestfriend back:) Hehehehe P: And I have some new ones too. I haven't blogged abouot ytd. So I'll talk about it today. I went back to puaychai. Okay , wait rephrase I walked to puay chai under the bloody sun. It was so freaking hot and so tiring. Saw alooooot of seniors but it was kinda awkward xD Like david :3 He's fuhreakin tall now. No joke. and when we're about to leave. I saw meiqi. She introduced me to her super shy cousin that was actually studying in taman sea and I had no idea. She knows me though. After that , I talked her to transfering :D She might come taman sea next year ! woohoo<3 Had subway for lunch. Seafood & Crab , nomz. Had it just now also btw. Hahaha. Drew , Darien & I walked to andrew's mom office cause he wanted to get some money. We waited for a cab. And when one finally came. The driver said he doesn't know how to get to tc mall and he's from pj. Wow uncle. Thumbs up. After that cab left it rain. How unlucky. We were super wet. Except andrew. Lolol. We watched what's your number. Surprised we managed to sneak in:) Saw brandon & his brother. *awkwardness* Took some pictures then went home. Waited for the bus for 1 hour plus plus. It didn't come but johnson did:) So we took the taxi back to my place and watched insidious. Movie ok la. But the 'ghost' damn lol lo srsly. Hahaha. We omegled and they slept at my place after that. That's all!:D

Ps; dont stop blogging leeann:)

Famous Amos.

If only it was this easy. Its twelve. And It's friday. Need to start sleeping early again. Cause If I don't I'll get use to this and sleep at 3 on school days. Anyways I've nothing much to blog about right now other then tomorrow is children's day! :D Yaaaay. David , Imma see you finally. After 2 damn years. Boy , I missed your cheesy-ness. Hahaa see ya;) Oh and guess who came by just now? Darien , Andrew & Johnson :3 They bought me famous amos , thank you guys. You're ze best. You know , I just realized I have waaaay more guy friends than girls. So cool right? It is , to me:)

I love you okay? Cheer up:)

This picture is so true. This post goes to my bestfriend. Hey baby girl , I'm sorry I was so harsh on you last night. I really didn't mean it. It happened naturally. Out of anger or maybe stress? But you know maybe it's cause I kept things to myself for too long and sometimes I just have to let it out. So yeah , I hope you understand. I want you to be strong. Not physically but mentally. Or maybe if you could , both. Cause the truth is that , everyone is gonna hurt you. You just have to find the ones that are worth suffering for. I'm still gonna be there for you even though we won't be as close as we used to be. I'll be there for you in school. Right beside you. In class. I'll be there for you other times too. You have my number. Aiya , screw giving me a call. My house is less than 5 minutes away. I'll be there for you anytime , anyday. If you need a shoulder , I'm your girl. Or If you wanna share anything else too. I'm here. I love you. *wipes off your tears* Stop crying , It's not worth it:) *hugsyousotightyourfaceturnsblue* Mwah.

This city :3

FIVE MOAR DAYS. 5 more days till halloween! :) Too bad I'm not celebrating this year. Ah well , at least there's chicpop. Hahaha , but I'm broke now-.- Hope my mum gives me money :x Fingers crossed. Shit. Bloody hell. It's wednesday already , haven't start studying bm. Die. Oh yeah , happy deepavali leeann:) And every body else out there that's reading this:D Argh , shouldn't wake up so early-.- It's raining now. How perfect to sleep. Lol. But I guess the weird dream that I had woke me up. I dreamt I was dating johnson. And we were making out :O So I got up and texted andrew xD He said he had the same dream but he was dating me and we were about to kiss. LOLOLOLWTF. But the song on the radio when I woke me up this afternoon is love :3 Got out if bed and search for that song. Cant stop listening to it now. Patrick Stump - This city ft. Lupe Fiasco. If you haven't heard of it before , go now. Its awesome;) You're welcome.

CURVE:)

Hello peeps:) You see my happy face? >:) Today I went out , yes finally. Haha , Felt awesome cause I missed going out:D Had an amazing time with darien , andrew , johnson , melissa , adzeem & this guy I met today , sufian in the curve :3 Kayz I owe darien & andrew a big fat apology cause I came late (Blamemymumforthis) Hahaha but I made it up to them by fetching them to curve , woohoo:D A little while later adzeem came. Then his friend appeared. Then melissa :) Went to watch pa3. Thats some scary shiz. Lol. Okay not the whole thing , but some parts were scary. Feel sorry for 'dennis' no one believed him wtf. Dumbfuck girl friend. End up dying. You deserve it , LOLOLOL. After that took a few pictures then melissa left. So the guys were being all sexist , and asking me where should we go next :3 So I decided IKEEAAAAA! :D It was a great decision. But we looked quite retarded to some people , but who cares:)

Johnson & Darien & Me Y^^Y

YAY FOR GROUP PICTUREZ :3

Darien wasnt here cause he was taking this :C

But we all look so cool. K BYE.

Cravings , Taco.

Whatever is hurting me , it’s not your fault. Im just going through this whole trust issue and not being able to get over the fear of being left behind. Everytime I get too close to somebody, they end up leaving one way or the other, whether it be boyfriends, friends or even family. I just hate the feeling of being forgotten. That's reason why I didn’t want to tell you was because its ridiculous and not really worth crying over.

Look at this fucking taco. Do you see it? Of course you see it. Well , look at it not giving a fuck. This taco is a motherfucking boss , that's what it is.

Don't know , Don't care.

The light bulb symbolizes our thoughts and how over-thinking can “kill” us. That is why I choose to dgaf anymore. Idgaf about anything , anymore. Wanna argue? Alright , bring it. I totally get it. Since you're my boyfriend I have to tell you EVERYTHING. Well no , it doesn't work that way in my world. So don't expect anything out of me.

1 week of holiday. Idk how to spend it:/ I only have like 2 plans for this week-.- Going out with darien , adzeem and the rest on tuesday. And children's day on god knows when. Hahaha , looking forward to it:) Gonna meet up with my old friends. Catch up with them. And maybe , see my ex. Lol, all that stuff. Ending my post now cause my mind is fucking blank. So yeah teeheeee.

Nobody is that damn 'busy'. If he loves you , he'd make time for you regardless.

This is for my girls :) I want the both of you to know that. Love isn’t easy the way you always think it is, you can’t just pick it up and think it’ll be just a piece of cake, no it isn’t, you’ll have alot of problems with your partner while on the way, 50% you’ll survive it and the other half you won’t, so as i said love is a tough gig but you’ll need to learn how to deal with it and when love knocks you down, you’ll just need to learn to fight back. And If someone doesn’t want you back, someone else will need you.If someone thinks you’re boring, someone else will think you’re amazing. If someone is too busy for you, someone else is willing to make time for you. If someone ignores you, someone else is willing to pay attention. If someone thinks you’re not good enough, someone else thinks you’re more than good enough. If someone doesn’t feel the same way, someone else is waiting for you to feel the same way for them. Cheer up , my lovelies <3

UNIFI:3

He's probably the sweetest guy I know. Haha thank you , for wasting your 11;11 wish on me P: I hate hate hate hate x10000000 waking up to the sound of drilling or noisy stuff like that. But I did , today. And I didn't really mind even though I slept for like 5-6 hours only last night. Because guess who has unifi now?! Fuck yeah , vanessa does! :D Fast internet <3 Anyways , You wanna know what happened in school today? I died. Lol. 1 hour 45 minutes for maths. Didn't know shit. Left most of them blank. Couldn't sleep in class. So I stared outside. And doodled all over the table cause we aren't supposed to draw stuff on the test paper-.- Recess late. And another 2 hours of rotting after that , thanks alot chinese paper-__- Hmm , well maths is half over. All the unimportant subjects are over. I'm relieved. Now , I'm more worry for bm. Which is right after the holidays D: Diediedie. I don't really remember what else I wanted to say already. So i'll end the post here:) Ttfn peopleee.

PISSEDOFF.

Some people should learn to back off when I get mad. Seriously, it’s not like I’m going to explode in your face and start punching. No. I’m not that aggressive. But please give me a little space. There’s a reason why I become hella quiet. I don’t want to say something stupid, and I know I can be really mean if I wanted to. I’ve actually gotten mad over something stupid and it pushed somebody away, which is one of my biggest regrets in life. So please , space. Oh and don’t ask if I’m mad. UGH, the last thing I want to hear from somebody’s mouth. Comfort me, don’t annoy me by asking a million times. I know I’m weird for being hella complicated, but that’s just how I am. SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. And leave me alone. Thank you.

YOU:(

Here I am. Isolating myself in the room again. Crying my eyeballz out. Dear you , can you not fuck with my mind? Please? Im confused as hell. Why is this always happening to me? Why am I so fickle? Why can't I stay committed? I don't know. But for some reason everything reminds me of you. Especially shoes. But why. What is god trying to tell me? Am I with the wrong person? Was it a mistake letting you go? What?! Ugh. I'm stressed out. I don't need anymore problems. I've got other stuff to worry about , there's Exams. Dad. Mum. That crazy ass grandma of mine. Brother. Callum. And then there's Leeann. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fail everything already lah. If you're reading this , I want you to know , I still think about you every now and then. I still stalk that 'fan blog' of you. Because they actually let me know more about you than you do. I still keep that letter you wrote me. And I always avoid skyping with you cause I just cant stand it. I miss you like crazy. But I can't tell you that. We were never meant to be anyways. Le sigh. So , It's true when they say you'll never really get over your exes.

Pm & Sivik.

Shout out to jason.

I was looking through my pictures and I saw this so yeah. I think I should blog about it :) So um , Hi. Um , You know. You have all the rights to hate me. I don't blame you at all. I just want a few favors from you if that's okay. Alright? Firstly , Just don't lie to me , please? Secondly , Don't give me one word replies cause I'm sick of people doing that. And lastly , If you've a problem with me , tell me. You don't have to post it on facebook. That's about it.

Thanks for reading , jason:)

Anyways , I gotta start taking 'proper' care of my skin now , like my mum say-__- But I'm just sooo lazy. I'll start with my face. Get rid of pimples and dark circles. and blackheads I guess there's only one solution? Sleeping early. Ugh nooo. That means , no more onlining till late in the morning unless it's REALLY important. Hahaha. I might fail but hey , at least I tried ;) Orrr , I'll just go facial more often , every now and then I mean.

Oh yeah , did I mention exams started? I think I did. Today was the first day of exam. I was actually nervous :| We had sivik and moral. Sivik was hella hard. Not only that , I'm so so so stupid. Every thing I read , it all went to waste. Because right after the exam , Leeann told me the part I was studying for came out but I didn't noticed. UGH. I was like fuqqqqq. Sure fail -.-But moral was easier then the last semester. Because not much of the definisi nilai shit came out. So yeah. Manage to memorize some other stuff. I feel sad for renee though. She studied so hard but the teacher gave her a '0' cause she told the teacher ryan's kacau-ing her. and apparently that's "membuat bising di dalam peperiksaan" to her -.- Seni and PJK tomorrow , wish me luck ! :)

Stress?

Why yes I am. LOLJK. Moar like I'm jelly:3 Exams start tomorrow and I'm still freaking chilling , going online & blogging when I'm supposed to be studying / memorizing the freaking definisi nilai and what not. Ugh omg. Sivik & Moral tmrw. For sure fail. Encik Hairi said it is all subjective. I didn't pass up the folio also so 60 marks gone? Hellno. And moral , there's a freaking essay. Are you kidding me or what-.- Anyways , Did nothing in school today.___. Leeann was right. Should've skipped with her. Instead of going , and sitting by myself surrounded by fucking retards form 1 playing with the crutches. Shouting like mad. I was so so so so fucking annoyed. But , We arranged the tables for tmrw on the last period of school though. I'm currently sitting behind elaine right now. We switched places ._. LOL. I hope mheny doesn't fail to beg pn faezah to change our places again. Not really change our places la but wtv-.- Lazy explain. Lalalala. I feel like I changed , heck I know I've changed. And I wanna change back. Y'know? But Sometimes , change doesn't just happen. You need a catalyst. Something that'll slap you in the face , tell you that you're doing something wrong and that you need to do something about it. Otherwise , you'll never really change your ways. You can say that you’re going to change. You might even succeed in doing so. But how long is that going to last? Eventually, you’re going to go back to your old ways before you even notice it. You want to know why? Because you didn’t get a slap in the face. You got a little flick on the nose. You're getting off easy will be the reason why your changes will not be anything else, but temporary. You didn’t get hit hard enough for the lesson to sink into your narrow-minded brain.

Boofuckinghoo.

October isn't my month. Hot weather. Exams. Getting hungry all day everyday. Friendship problems. Family problems. And , Blogger has been fucking with me alot lately. Ugh. At least , there's callum:) Lol. Anyways , went to subway , starbucks & mcd today:) Everyone ffk-ed at first but decided to come in the end-___- Had to beg em'. Manage to study A LITTLE. Cause I wasn't really focusing .___. Don't know about the rest. I'm so doomed this semester. Mummy is hoping for A's because I told her that taking chinese was pulling me back and that's the only reason I got to quit that class-__- hellno. Just another person to disappoint. Yay.

Shoutout:)

Dear bestfriend/closefriend or whatever we are right now. It took me awhile to see what was on your blog because I have no idea why I can't see shit. Everything was white and all. And I cant highlight that shit either. I only saw a couple of words and most of those words were fucking/fucker. Lol.___. And it kinda makes sense? So I guessed everything else. Not sure if my predictions are right or not. But ahwell. I know you've tried to not make me feel like a 3rd person by doing little things like calling me during bacaan to sit with you guys and asking me to watch Pretty Little Liars so the 3 of us would have something to talk about. But , I already told you , it's not you. It's me. I just feel like I'm bothering you / renee whenever we hang out. If you're thinking why I told iain who I liked and not you because I didn't trust you enough? Well , you're clearly wrong. The only reason I told him was so he wouldn't misunderstood but he did anyways , look at his tweets. So fuck him _|_ That's pretty much all I have to say now. Till the next time:) x

STUDYING = STUDENT + DYING.

THIS ^

Rmb when I said finals are almost here? Well , it already is. Okay maybe not , but we're so close. Just 2 more days (not counting the weekend). And tmrw I'm just gonna go to starbucks and study my butts off. Starting all the way from form 2 chapter 1 ; Maths. Vanessa , you can't keep delaying things. I came home from school today and PROMISED myself , I'd study. But I ended up watching dramas again -___- I'm fucking useless. I doubt I'll even get at least 2 A's and that's what I'm aiming for. It is a MUST for ENGLISH & SCIENCE. Lol. I just hope I don't fail anything. That would make me happy. Thank god I quit chinese already. Or else , That shit will kill me. Lastly , thank you mheny for being my life saver and tutoring me maths! Owe you one:) x , Good luck to the others that are having finals tooo!:)

Ps; date on sunday, can't wait baby <3

Pss; Other stuff that can relate to me right now , Look below :)

That's messed up ain't it?

Blargh.

Ugh. You know what sucks? Being the third best friend. I mean I love my bestfriends more than anything and everything. I'd give up my life just for them. But seriously , it just sucks. I feel like some light bulb or what not. They have their own inside jokes and stuff like that and when they talk about it I just feel left out. Or maybe it's just me over reacting? I wish this is just one of those phases. I really do. Anyways nothing much happened in school today. Other then making paper cranes and doing random stuff in class. Oh did I mention miss hew wei bitch ching got into a fight today? It's not really a fight la more like an 'arguement' not even a proper one-.- LOL. She totally deserves it though ! Yaaaay:) But bitch really , fuck off.

You're 'beautiful' , vanessa:)

Pmr is over :( Congrats form3's , you're still alive. And you're free now:) Not all actually. Well at least some of you are. Time flies lah , really. Before you even know it , finals are here. I haven't prepared but I feel nervous already. I don't think my grades will make my parents proud. It never does , so screw that. Y'know it's funny that I constantly get "remind-ed" that I'm beautiful, pretty and all that good stuff by um my friends , guy friends and uh everyone actually. (Not being perasan) But sometimes I wonder if it's true. For me , It's kinda hard to trust people right now. That explains why I usually keep everything to myself. I don't really like that feeling :| Kinda makes me sad. My blog is the only place I can pour all my feelings out right now.

NO SCHOOL:) Teehee.

KKKKKKKKK. shout out to Jason Yap Jing Ren / TaeYang Dong Young Bae.

Goodluck weetard on your last two papers. Kh and maths:) Since you're so pro in maths. That you can spend your weekends all day on skype with me and still can go to the gym. You better ace that test aite? If you don't , I'm not gonna skype with you no more P: Give you more pressure. Muahaha. Im a genius. Lolol. We never really talked before this and I think we've been facebook friends for quite awhile now. But thank god you talked to me the other day on facebook chat , if it wasn't for that , I wouldn't have met you. Such a amazing person:) All the best. Roar.

PS; Tell your guai lou friend I wished him luck too;)

Hahaha who am I kidding , I never do my homework. LOLOLOL. But I just found out I don't have school tmrw. Fuckyeah?! :) Haha till tuesday actually. Thank you , renee for telling me or else , I might even go to school.____.

Don't compare me with someone else. Please.

• 
• I wish my parents could understand , When I hang out with a boy doesn’t mean he’s my boyfriend. School is hard, and I’m trying my best. I’m a teenager, I don’t always have the best attitude. I try to make the best decisions for me. I’m young and want to have fun. If I’m out all night doesn’t mean I’m drinking or doing drugs. Not all my friends can be a bad influence. I feel useless whenever they compare me to other people. It's always 'oh look at ashley'. You make stupid stuff up and it's not even true. Like how she doesn't always go out to hang out with her friends ? Well she does , almost every week too with darien or wtv. She doesn't swear? Hell yeah she does. She studies alot? She goes to tuition. Don't blame me. You're the one that doesn't want me to go until next year. I'm ashley's friend , I should know more then you do. Ashley this and ashley that. Mum , I'm sorry I'm nothing like ashley lah , aite? I'm not her so don't expect me to be something I'm not. It just makes me wanna isolate myself again , i hate how i want to be away from people more than i want to be around them. This has been going on and off for so long now. sometimes it’s the reason i always wanna be alone. i don’t know, it's hard to explain. Hopefully it’s just one of those phases.

Late night swimming + Sleepover + Covers making.

Here's a few pictures from the sleep over P:

This whole thing was SUPER last minute. I'm surprised my mum let me go. Hahaha. Thanks to renee for having the lady ballz to talk to my mum. We went to sunway club at like idk 9-ish? Then faster rush cause it closes at like 10;30. I kept feeling super weird cause we were the only ones in the pool which was creepy. Lol. After awhile of swimming all of us got hungry then we went to the restaurant but it was closed so fail, renee & leeann went back to swim after zat. When we're done. We went back to the toilet to bath but the lady was cleaning up already -____- plus me and leeann forgot to bring our shampoo soap and shiz. So we decided to go home and bath. Went to paparich before we go home to get our supper:) I had nasi lemak. And I'm craving for it again now. Gosh. Haha. Renee & Leeann had some mee idk what its called. Jamming in the car was fun :3 Although I think we annoyed the shit out of her dad P: wooops.

I had to bath around 2-ish am cause the girls were fighting over the bathroom. So I guess I didn't feel sleepy cause of that. We made some covers cause we were super hyper then. It was so epic. Not sure if renee's gonna upload it or not. Camwhored while they danced. Then after awhile renee fell asleep already , it was 8am. 2 hours later leeann slept. So i was the only one awake #forever alonee. Felt so sick when I went back home but after sleeping last night , I feel so much better:3 Borrowed 3 movies from renee and watched it all right after I came home. I take movies seriously :D Prom was still the best!:O Disney movies :')

SLEEP.

Vanessa , you HAVE TO go to bed right now. HAVE TO. Not sleeping is not cool. Your bloody eye bags are coming out. So you have to. Haha. Short post. Kthxbai. Will blog about stuff tmrw or something :) Stay tuned!

TC:)

Lately , I've been obsessed with Lil Wayne - How to love & Kelly Clarkson - Mr. Know It All. I can honestly say , today was better then I expected it would be:) Thought LeeAnn & I won't even be able to make it. But at last , mummy fetched us there. Sank you , mummy. I had funfunfun today. Ze arcade , ze air hockey <3 <3 <3 , ze camwhoring , ze movie , ze shilin , ze random sick jokes. Oh oh oh , Fyeah , Guess who watched abduction today?! Mememememe & LeeAnn & Andrew & Darien. The movie was "olrite" Hahahahaha. Sweared like 12345678909865723862 times during the kissing scenes and all. But he was really hot in the movie as usual. Haha. Then the most potong part. I kept going to the toilet today-.- before movie. during movie. after movie. Idk I drink too much or what. My bladder got some prob. Bought some nail polish then took the bus to kelana jaya then take lrt to taman bahagia :) Otw walking home , leeann's slipper 'patah-ed' , epic shiz. Owe a big thank you to darien and andrew for coming today and temaning us home safely:) It's so cute when a guy worries (not that I like them or anything) It's just , cute. Knowing they would go to any length to keep you safe. They would walk you home even if it’s day time or night (doesn't really matter ) , they would tell you to text them when you’re home, they would let you walk on the inside of the sidewalk, tell you when there's a car behind, they would do literally anything. Even if you’re my guy friend or whatever, I find that your nice gestures are adorable :3 Decided to re-paint my nails when I got home , so I did:) After that I went online , and well saw somethings I didn't wanna see which kind of causes my mood swing right now. But whatever. It's cool.

UNICORNS ARE SO SEXY LIKE OHMYGOSH.

Lalalalala.

Unicorns make me happy.

You know what pisses me off about you? You ALWAYS try to make everything such a big deal when it's not. And you just LOVE getting involved in everything. The fights in school. My family stuff. Some gangster shiz. Idk? Just Everything. She said she didn't do it. She didn't do anything. She's innocent. So be it. You don't have to keep calling me every 5 minutes updating me about what's happening. I don't care. I DON'T. No , I am not mad , I am annoyed. I just wanna know if YOU told her that or not. And now I do. So just stop it lah alright? Forget this whole thing even happen. If that's not too much to ask for. Thanks.

Oh and one last thing.

Shout out to my "best flann" leo:)

Hi "sexy" :) Sorry for stealing your picture on facebook P: Didnt wanna upload our skype camwhore ones. Haha. So , You nervous yet? Bet you're reading this by now and thinking to yourself , pfft , no way ! Leo's so chill. But deep down , you are. Aren't cha'? Haha. Good luck mr lion cub on your pmr or the subject you're most scared of aka bm :3 (Fyi , I am too!) All the best to you! You should be sleeping early tonight , tommorow's your big day , wouldn't want you to fall asleep during the test huh;) So that's about it I guess? Come home with A's . Vanessa will be praying for you lil blue ninjaaa. And hopefully after your pmr , we'll get to go on a not failed outing :D Cheers to that! Woot. Love you. *hugs*

Ps ; Goodluck to the other pmr candidates too! :D x