He's having doubts.

Being in love is hard. You’re gonna end up fighting more than half the time, then the next like nothing ever happened at all. Spending one moment crying yourself to sleep, then the next non-stop laughter. Then full of frustration, next filled with joy. Some moments talking about what great future you two have planned ahead, then the next with no future at all. When you feel like you’ve completely given up, but you can’t let go. Half the time you’re so damn sure of what it is then the next you just absolutely have no clue anymore. Half of us will pretend like it’s the perfect little thing. But really, it’s the most unperfect thing there could ever be.

wake up > survive > sleep.

HAHAHAHAHA. Omg the second picture , I totally got it like once I read it. Incase you're wondering , it's a bad word. Lol. Missing php and everyone there:( So I went to curve today. Wore the dress my mum bought during chinese new year and only wore a few times , so I decided to wear it today:D It's kinda short and tight now though. Kind of. Bro said I gain weight and everyone else said I lost weight. Le sigh. I'm already thin enough wtf. Gonna have to eat more again. No more skipping meals. Saw him today , we spent like 15 minutes together I guess. But it was okay , it made my day :) That's how today went! LOLBYE.

ZeCarnival:]

Yup , pretty much meee:D Hahaha. Hi again readurs <3 Mia weih seriously . Anyways I'm here now to update y'all about what's going on lately:) Today.. I woke up at 7;30 am then I went to wash my face and brush my teeth and then choose my clothes and bath. LOLJK. But no , seriously. After I got ready I waited like almost 45 minutes for my uncle to get ready and eat. And the ride to the place I was suppose to go was a disaster. I swear I almost died in the car. Finally reached. Saw him <3 Hohohoho :v He's way cuter in person btw. Be jelez , bitchez. Lol. Met his sister , cousins and friend:) They're really friendly c: Didn't really do much because the place was surrounded by kids. Mostly ang mo's like my boyfriend loves to state out. He has a thing for them. LOLOLOL. So pretty and so dur hensem. *Envy* And the school , omg it's hella huge. 10x bigger then tamansea. HAHAH. Walked to mcd and had a drink and thennnnnn walk halfway back. His mum picked us up and fetch us to sunway pyramid :D - awkward ride - Walked around , talked , held hands , hugged , kissed and ateeeee <3 (which reminds me , thank you oh so wonderful boyfriend of mine that fought me to pay the bill , I love you so much) It sounds pretty plain. But it was so great:) Wish you stayed a little longer though. Ah well , don't blame you :) <3

SPOILERS.

LALALALA. Hi bloggers/readers. Have you guys watched the movie 'shutter'? LOL. If no , I'm here to spoil it for you when you do:) This movie storyline is about this guy , his current girlfriend & his ex. Which of course I won't be putting up the picture cause its hella scary and i'm alone at the living room atm. So yeah. Go search yourself. This guy , he's a photographer. Named tun. Or something like that. K so it started like this. He was out w his highschool friends and his current girlfriend. They went to get some drinks(beer) After zat. They drove home and hit some random girl which is apparently tun's ex. She started haunting them after that night. It started w shadows in pictures that tun took. Then it got worse and worst. So his girlfriend became all scared and stuff. They went to talk to those people that experience shit like these. The person told the both of them to get a poloriod and take pictures of the ghost. So they did. Skip skip skip. Tun's highschool friends that I was talking about earlier commited suicide one by one. Tun's girlfriend wanted to "investigate" or smth. So she went to the school tun took pictures at, found out tun and the girl they hit was the same person. blah blah blahh. Now im lazy to tell-.- So go watch la. It's scary:OOO Moral of the story: Don't fuck around w yr exes. They might haunt you when you're dead. LOL K BYE , for now:)

BLACK&YELLOW.

I wake up every evening, with a big smile on my face And it never feels out of place:) Bonjour readers , haven't been blogging much P: I'm too "occupied" w facebook , twitter & him. HAHAHA. Anyways I'm back now:) Just wanna congratulate harimau malaysia for the match yesterday ! Indo , better luck next time;) WOOHOO MALAYSIA BOLEHHH <3 So semangat :') HAHAHAHA.

el oh el.

kaykaykay , so this is louis

and this is my boo <3

HAHAHA omg , their pose (Y) nyehehehe. Looks like they are having headaches though. But that smile , ohmygod <3 Anyways , I finally got something to blog about yo:P Was listening to simple plan - your love is just a lie earlier. It's kinda sad la._. for those people out there that wonders why I don't really trust people. This post is for you:) Look around , what are we surrounded by? cheaters , liars , betrayers etc . you get it? we're surrounded by fucked up things/people. and some people actually get tired of being hurt.I can't trust everyone out there because once i let my guards down , you'll just leave. But there are some exceptions. Those are my bestfriends:) And I hope they won't be like the rest of them that decided to abandon me. Thanks for sticking around.I love every single one of you:)

Finally happy:)

Ohmygosh. He has the most gorgeous eyes ever <3 The plans I had today "Backfired" Lol. I thought I was really gonna meet him but nooo :( Last night's "skype date" was :') <3 Hope I get to go out later , anywhere. As long as I'm not at home. Even the freaking park would do. LOL. K bye. I realized ever since the holiday. I dont really have things to blog about-.-

PAPOIIII.

Hye mai unic0rnz readurs!!!! :D Lol I have no idea why i'm spelling like that. Pretending to be jenny :3 Anyways , Guess vart? I didn't get to go to cheer today:'( Because we got no transport back. And I didn't go shopping w momzie and aunty jhoy cause I thought I was going cheer. Now I'm at home and I have nothing to do and I'm starving. This is so far the most boring holiday ever , and I'm not even joking. I need to find something productive to do asap. A job , maybe. Alright that's it for now. Bye!:)

I constantly tell myself “I’m done” but then I find myself trying again.

I'm not gonna mess up on this guy , because he's a keeper <3 :) My bestfriend reminded me about this a few days ago. "Be contented with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Yes, there are people who are greater than him/her. There are people who are more attractive, more intelligent, more caring, and more fortunate. That’s life - full of temptations. But don’t be deceived by those things. Because didn’t you ever realize that there are people who are also greater than you? Yet, he/she chose you." Just wanna share this with everyone out there that are having second thoughts. Anyways , today is like the first day in the holiday that I went out. HAHAHA omg just realized that. Spent the whole day w my homies in sunway club instead of a sleepover. Well I guess that works too. Couldn't swim so I just watched them. Did a little cheer stunts and took some pictures. Oh and cheer tomorrow:) I hope leeann's going:3

You're great. I just hope you're not like them.

HAHAHAHAHA. THAT'S SO CUTE. LOL. (Notbeingasickass,I'mjustopenminded) Wanted to go out today but I failed at sleeping early last night so I failed at waking up early too. Going to renee's place tomorrow. She said something about playing something but I have no idea what she's talking about so I guess we have to wait and see :D Till then , bye blogger:3

My parents.

I've been wanting to post something bout my parents but I always forget to. This was few days ago but yeah , I hate watching my mum cry and that I cannot do anything about it. I'll feel all guilty and stuff. Do you know we tend to take our parents for granted? Saying they’re annoying because they won’t let you do this and that. Wishing they were gone so you’re free. Think about this, your parents give you everything you want, they work their ass off to put a roof over your head, feed you, and basically to see you happy, but what are you doing for them? Nothing. So, stop complaining, and arguing with them, sit down, and take their bullshit without replying back to them. What if your parents passed away? I know I’d be devastated, I’m sure you all would be to. I suggest you stop taking them for granted, stop looking at what you don’t have, and start appreciating what you do have.

UGH. HUNGRYYYY:'(

It's almost 7 PM. And I haven't had anything to eat since yesterday. Weak & Grumpy as hell. Kill me now. Not going for cheer practice later on. Leeann's sick. Renee's leg hurts. And I don't know about me. Gonna go hunt for something to eat now. Bye!

curiosity killed the cat.

Me on the weekends and on holidays . I'm just too lazy to do anything. HAHAHA. Anyways , renee and leeann came over today:) Didn't really do much just sit around and chilled played some bubbles , I know it sounds retarded but yeah . Bathed when they went to the park with jim. Tried doing the marble nails but super fail. Wasted so much time and nail polish-.- LOL. Nothing much to blog about today. Gonna go skype with a retard now. Byeeeeeee! :) Oh and , cheer tmrw. WOOHOO. I'm nervous.

Nobody wants to be alone in the world.

Do you ever feel like breaking down and crying ? Letting every single thing that's bothering you out? I have. Ugh what am I saying? I gotta stop being such a emo fuck again. This morning. I had the urge to cut. For some personal reasons. But I'm still trying to stop the urge from cutting. (last time I cut was about 1 year ago , proud of myself that I was willing to stop) I miss how easy life was when we were kids. I miss watching cartoons in my pj's all day long and not worry about anything. Not that we're not now but yeah. It's different.I miss how I was close to both of my parents when we're on vacation. The on vacations part? How to say ah. Because they're always to be busy to have time for us so yeah. I feel so weak now a days too. Like physically. No idea what's up with me. I should stop doing alot of things not only stop being a emo fuck but also stop going online for way too long and just fucking stare at the screen. Sleeping at 7 every night and waking up late in the afternoon. Having just ONE meal in one day. That's not how I'm gonna be spending my whole holiday but it already seem like it now. Thinking should I continue to go cheer or not. Decisions , decisions. It's like cheer is the only way to help me bond with my bestfriends again. And that alone means alot to me. Other than that , I have something to do during this boring holiday.

Legit.

This goes to all the form 5's out there! Good Luck for your spm. All the best!:)

My efforts weren’t enough, so I stopped trying.

Yes, the movie sucks. The actor/actress suck too according to most people. ( No , not me ) But I'm still watching it anyway. Team jacob forever & always:) Yay. Uh so yeah , I'm supposed to be in the curve right now. But I overslept. As usual and I didn't have any transport so I guess I'll be going tomorrow and get them brownies <3 Noooom. Last night , I was thinking about how my mum is really struggling to make us (my bros & I ) happy. And I thought to myself. I shouldn't be asking for so much. I don't feel the need to be in cheer. Sure, It's a hobby yeah. Eventually , I'll get bored of it and probably find new interest. Which is what normally happens most of the time. But I don't know , it's complicated. Yes , I have two parents. But my dad isn't really working anymore. So it's more like a single parent feeling thing. I don't really know how to put this to words but I'm trying. And uhm , I had this talk with my maid / aunty just now. And we were talking about the strangest topic. There was boyfriends. Ghost. Studies. Vampires. Witches. My mum. All those lah. It was really great. I mean having someone to talk to about this every now and then. I know I had alot to blog about today but when I finally touched the com and go on blogger. Poof. Nothing else to say.

11.11.11

First thing's first. 11.11.11 11:11 pm - wished:)

Fingers crossed that it will come true. K sooo , I learnt how to do a super cool tongue trick in the shower today. It's called a 3 leaf clover? Yeah , go search it. I can't seem to do a proper one after my bath. But I'll work on that. Hahaha. Cool things happen in showers yo. And then I watched some tutorial vids after that. The way they explained was hella confusing. So I just practiced infront my photobooth. Yay photobooth! Left the house around 4-5. Then took like 2 fuhreaking hours to find the motherfucking hotel. The roads in kl are fucking complicated. I won't go there when I can drive if I'm alone. I'd rather take the lrt or smth. Lol. By the time we reached , I can't even feel my legs. No joke. All of us squished in a small car. And I was having a major stomach ache then. But the food , mailord. It was amazing. Yuuuuuumeh in my tummeh. There were more desserts than food actually but still , awesome. Gonna go there again after 19 days. Momzie's birthday:) Countdownnnn. Once again happy birthday justin & uncle mhel:) To everyone else , happy 11.11.11 <3

Move along.

Everybody experiences hurt whether it be due to family problems, friend problems, relationship problems, etc. It’s all part of life. Of course some people experience more hurt than others, but nevertheless, pain is pain. The way I see it, we have two options. You can spend every second of every day being depressed over whatever caused it. You can be miserable, you can cry, you can self inflict yourself, and you can allow that hurt to penetrate the weak spot in your heart. But ask yourself what good does any of this do for you? Don’t make yourself suffer like that when you can do the exact opposite. Smile, be happy, block that pain out, and think about all the positives in your life. Think about others who have it much worse than you. Life is short, but it also offers many chances. Don’t waste too much time being sad.

Cheer #2.

Yay for random gifs:) Helloooooo readers. I'm having a super terrible tummy muscle ache right now. But cheer was definitely worth it. (No Leeann , I have not found my new interest) I just think it's really fun. The experience was super scary. Because you have to fully trust your supporters when they lift you up and bring you down etc. The first few tries was hella scary. Not because it was high but because I feel so totally out of balance. After awhile , you eventually get the hang of it. So anyone out there that's thinking to join. GOOOOO:D Hahaha. The stretching part was awful cause I'm not THAT flexible so yeah. And I HATE the running the most. LOL. Even though it was just 3 rounds. The people there are super kind :) Ohyeah! Then there's all the strength work for the base. And stretching for the flyers. Gonna do a cradle on the next class, Wish us luck. Curse you bananas & supermans. Stomach hurts bad now.

Cheer.

"It's so hard for me to walk away but I know I can't stay." "So it's over yeah we're through, so I'm a unfriend you. You're the best liar ever knew, so I'll unfriend you. Cause I should have known, right from the start. I'm deleting you right from my heart. Yeah it's over, my last move is to unfriend you."

Why hellooooo there:) I'm super tired ._. Anyways , guess what? My simple plan fever came back. Cant stop listening to their songs and surprisingly I still remember the lyrics for most of the songs. Then I came across the song "generation" it reminded me of my favorite tv series last time , heroes. I wonder what happened to that show. Imma find those disc and re watch it someday:) Ooh , did I mention renee & leeann are joing cheer? And they have practice later on? Hmm , to join or not to join. Still thinking. Have fun in cheer you guys.

Go to hell.

Fuck you. Fuck everything you said. Fuck the lies. Fuck everything I believed in. I never been this mad at someone y'know that? Well I should've seen this fuckery coming. You never wanted to webcam. You sound totally different from videos of you online. Everything. Was all lies. Our relationship was a lie. Why didn't you tell me? It doesn't matter if you're scared that you're ugly or what not to me. Because I fell for your personality and when I found out you lied. A part of me fucking died. I didn't wanna cry in front my friends so I pretended like it didn't hurt. But just fyi , it hurts more than having my stupid stomach aches. And in case you don't know how much that hurts. It's like having a chair on your stomach and having someone that weights like a fucking cow on it. There. Now you know. The worst part about all this is that I can't tell you that I know.

Why can't I ever properly put my feelings and thoughts into words?

Hi again readers. The reason why I've not been blogging was cause I was busy partying with my homies :) They've been crashing at my place for 3 days 2 nights. Uhhh should start with friday. After school , went home waited for them to come. Came about 8 o'clock. Then we watched laddaland:) Everyone said it was scarier cause I screamed alot ._. My baaad. Hehehe. The show was so loool. But the story was retarded and not to mention stupid. Susu didn't dare to cycle home after that so johnson and andrew insisted to teman him but they actually ditched him halfway. Hope he didn't see anything grandmas with holes on their faces (insidejoke) We watched more movies when he left. Stayed up till 6 then finally slept. Except darien-.- Next day we went to ss2 for lunch. Had nasi lemak and barli. My fav. The awkward moment when you break a glass while doing something retarded. Hahaha. Anyways we had ling chee kang or however you spell that. And drank it in the park. Which reminds me , guess who I saw ? Iain was there:) We talked about life for awhile and he went to play basketball after that. While going home tapao-ed some taufofa.(craving for it now) Lol , umm watched some zombie shit. Stupid ending. I think the main character became a zombie too so she spent like the whole time in the movie to escape from this hospital full of zombies for no reason (Y) wasted money buying those lal shows. Watched pa1 too. Ending was epic. Its like micaaah! micaaaaah! ahhhhh! *micah runs out to save katie* -after awhile of silence- *katie throws micah to the camera* Said rawrrrrr and the end. LOL. Slept early the second night cause I was dead tired. My back hurts. Woke up damn early and darien disappeared. He actually went to church. Painted nails. Yes , all of us. Haha super fail england flag. Back to my newspaper nails:) Wanna skip school next week. That's it. Kthanksbye.

NO MORE EXAMS. Woohooo.

This is what would happen if I try to study.

This is what I was thinking in my head during my maths exam. Hahahahah. The fuck is this. The fuck is that. Oh thank god , all of the exams are over. I'm ready to partaaaaay! During cb exam was boring as hell. And maths was really hard. Kh was good actually. Everyone was screaming xD And andrew scream all the way home ._. LOLOLOL. That's about it I guess? Nothing much happened today :( Gonna bring all the textbooks to school tomorrow , so heavy. Goodbye form2 , Hellooooo form3 :)

Shut up , seriously.

Beware : ALOT of swearing.

I have no idea what picture goes with this post. So I randomly uploaded one that has nothing to do with it. LOL. I'm on bitch mode. Dear immature fucks in my class. Yes. I said that. You're voice is getting fucking annoying every fucking day. Do you know how pissed off people get when you interrupt us when we're talking? Like bitch please , give the teacher a fucking chance to talk. You can talk all you fucking want afterwards. Okay? You made her repeat what she said not only once. twice. or thrice. but even more then that. I swear one day imma slit your fucking throat. Do you know you're the fucking reason why our class is known as the worst class to every teacher in our school? I know you honestly don't care how many more d3's / amaran's youre gonna get but can you not act all big and kick the table / chairs and point to teachers and swear in your own language cause nobody understand shit. It's not fucking funny alright? Oh oh oh and making your stupid race cars sound. You think its cool? Well if you think having your saliva every where on your hand and all over your table is cool. Then fuckyeah thats hella cool. And can you just not get all perasan when people aren't even talking about you for fuck sake? I said GREYSON CHANCE okay. How the fuck does that sound like JASANTH to you? Clean your fucking ear la please , deaf fucks. You guys just LOVE to be involved with everything. Make noises during exams and when teacher writes your name down on the paper. You go nuts. Really bitches? Are you kidding me? And say you didn't do anything. Do you like have amnesia or something? Sure seems like it. I can't even.. Omg. I give up , I'm done with this. Bye.

Hi november , please be good:)

It's already november. Wow. 1.11.11 Nice numbers. Hahaha. It's been raining so much lately. I just looove the weather. And the best part about it is I sit right beside the window in class:) It's relaxing watching the rain drops hit the floor and turn to puddles or whatever they're called. I enjoy weird things. I think I was even paying more attention on the rain than my test xD But still , the sound of the rain and all. It makes me miss the guy I love even more somehow :/ I know I don't stand a chance anymore. But why do I still have feelings for you? ugh. Enough with the emo talk. English & Geo was hard today. I mean yeah , paper 1 was easy but super tricky. So many careless mistakes. I didn't even bother to check-__- What's with me. Then paper 2. I totally went blank. Everyone said it was easy. But I went blank. I managed to memorize 'theinterestingevent' from the boscombe valley mystery though. Which is like 12 marks. Hahaha. 2 more days till freedom. and did I mention the sleepover? Hellyeah. Cant wait:)